I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed with school. It’s my senior year and I have to worry about applying to grad schools and scholarship grants and try to make myself look as appealing as possible on a sheet of paper… and I’m still conflicted about dance. As I was taking a break and browsing my phone as per usual, I stumbled upon a note I wrote to myself back in May. I hope it encourages you just as much as it encouraged me. I typed it raw and unedited, so it might be a little vague. I like it that way though. It lets my memory fill in the gaps with feelings and images that words could never muster the strength to do.
Just because you’re not able to do things you used to doesn’t make you any less accomplished. It doesn’t negate your successes. It doesn’t dictate your future. It’s something you’ve done. You should be proud of it, but don’t base your self worth off of it. You’re not who you were last year. You have grown and changed. Your experiences, successes, and failures have shaped you into a new and beautiful person. You are always changing. You are ethereal. I hope you never stop changing and never stop pursuing your passions, no matter what state you came from or what you think lies ahead. Never try to become what you once were. Only look forward. Take who you are now and run with it, because that’s all you got. Take her and transform her into the best version of you. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be obsessive over every aspect of your life or do you want to actively practice meditation and kindness? Do you want to think about dance or go off and do it? Do you want to sit on the computer all day and live in a virtual reality, or do you want to get up, move, create, and explore your talents and the opportunities that the day is presenting? It’s up to you. You have this one life. I hope you choose to live it.