This week I felt brave. Not hugely brave, just small revelations about myself and other things that helped me get through the week. I think my major accomplishment was feeling more confident in myself. I’ve stopped judging how I feel about myself based on my perception of how others view me. I used to think that I had to act a certain way in order to fit in with my classmates. In all honesty, guy engineers are intimidating because they’re… guys. I’m probably one of the most (awkward) girliest girls in the world. Until you hand me an engine to disassemble. Then I’m unrecognizably tomboy.
The point is, I used to feel like I had to be either one version of myself or another, and that being too spontaneous was a bad thing. It was all about the upkeep of one image. I know, that is a completely ungrounded thought. But I believed it… until this week when I started doing things that made me happy. I wore my sparkly Irish dance bows in my hair even though I’m one of three girls in a class of 50 engineers, and I felt confident. I’ve started to feel confident about my personality, who I am, and who I’m becoming, regardless of what my peers think of me. I’m allowing myself to be dorky and and try new things infront of others (i.e. talking) because I know that if I make a mistake I can learn from it and continue to grow. I’ve just felt more positive about life in general. It’s all about baby steps.
I hope you’ve had a lovely weekend so far.