This year, I didn’t give up Facebook or Starbucks. In fact, I didn’t give up anything. I decided that this year I was going to take on a challenge. Something that wasn’t tangible or measurable. I wanted to relearn how to love myself. Right now. For who I am.
Today I felt what it was like to love myself again. To not compare my body or my achievements or my life against anyone else. I saw my imperfect legs and the acne on my face and I accepted them. It wasn’t because I gave up on myself and lowered my expectations. Rather, I realized that I am more than my appearance. I felt blessed to have been created by God, put on this earth and given a unique life filled with flaws, heartbreak, joy, camaraderie and hope. I have a purpose, and that purpose is deeper and more meaningful than how many ribs I can count along my torso or how many hours I spent practicing or doing homework.
Today I was free to dance because it made me happy and to do homework because I am capable and smart. I was free to take a shower that was slightly longer than normal because it felt nice and to eat tasty food because it fueled and nourished me. But most importantly, I was free from the idea of who I thought I should be based on how other people lived their life. Today, I was free to be me, and that, my friends, was a beautiful feeling.
I know that this will be a process, but after today I’m excited to relearn how to love.