“Where there is desire / there is gonna be a flame / where there is a flame / someones bound to get burned / but just because it burns / doesn’t mean you’re gonna die / you gotta get up and try try try” – P!nk
As simple as this song seems, the lyrics have really stuck with me the past few days. Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with romance. Rather, it’s more of an internal struggle with dance. I want to keep dancing so I can become the best dancer that I can be. When I dance, it literally feels like I’m flying. All of my worries are suddenly gone and I’m suspended in space, free. I feel beautiful and powerful… normal.
My only problem is that it’s destroying my body. There are bunions on both of my feet and my arches are permanently damaged. Last summer I spent my break in physical therapy trying to heal two pulled muscles and a spine that was slightly twisted. It kept me from going to nationals that year.
I keep dancing though, because I love it. It doesn’t matter that it’s breaking me because it’s built me up so much. I’ve believed it to be one of the greatest gifts God has given me. Yet, I’ve been thinking that maybe dance isn’t the gift. It’s being able to persevere in the tough times. Knowing when to put your heart into something, and knowing when to give your body a rest. Learning to encourage friends with all your might, and learning to maintain that level of enthusiasm for yourself, too. And, most importantly, to always get up and try. He gave me the love of dance so I could learn these things so well that they would be written in my heart. Sometimes I’ll forget them or not always feel motivated to keep going, but then I can look back on the last 15 years of my dancing career and remember the journey.
I feel truly, wonderfully blessed. To an extent, this is why I’m not deeply heartbroken about how this path that I’m journeying on is turning. Granted, it is sad because dance has been such a large part of me. Yet, I need to remember that dance isn’t all of me.
I think it’s time to say goodbye to Irish dance. Not forever, goodness no. I think it’s just time to see what else God has in store for me. It’s time to get up from this chapter, heal the aches, and keep walking… running with a smile on my face, embracing the blessings that are to come.
Here’s to new beginnings.
Have a beautiful Sunday.